Imane Admin
Number of posts : 360 Age : 31 Location : Insha`allah The Neighbor of the Prophet in paradise Registration date : 2008-05-09
| Subject: one sister`s autobigraphay Mon May 12, 2008 8:35 am | |
| It was a dark and stormy night.... the winds were whistling and the rain was pelting against the tin roof. All of the sudden a scream rang out, "Aaaaaaaaah!". It was... of course, my mother giving birth to a small baby girl. This stormy, dramatic night of my birth was no doubt a portent of my life to come.
I was born in a tiny room in my maternal family's house in a small village half way across the world. Having gone back recently, I was amazed to find the old house in ruins and nothing like what I had imagined it to be. The houses are made of cement and brick. The dingy darkness of cool inside rooms play off the walled white roof and inside courtyards. Sandy water from a pump is all the household has in the way of amenities. Poverty is what one might call it. But if poverty is what they live there is also joy and worth in it.
Nowhere else is there so much happiness and celebration at the time of marriages and births. Nowhere else is there so much color and life, from the incredible history and architecture of the mosques and palaces, to the green, green grasses of the fields and trees after the rains, to the crowded noisy streets.
Although this life is so far away from me, it is in my blood and whenever I return I miss it like a part of me. When I was about three years old, we lived in a block of housing that had other families of students, and behind us was a whole playground as a backyard. There one could live with the land and animals as one. The seasons are tempered and the weather always seemed nice. Fruit sellers even used to come down the streets. While there, another sibling arrived. A boy, to my young disgust! We moved back to the old country for a few months and soon came to America; where my father began to teach.
It is interesting how life moves in circles. Who was to know that where my father used to work and the place where we used to play in the halls as children would one day become where I went to school and become such an integral part of my life. If I had been living in any other place other than where I was, I would not have survived. I should have died, but was blessed. I often feel that I was given a reprieve because I had yet to fulfill whatever my purpose or destiny was on the earth. I continued through school and did very well. At the same time I also attended local mosque weekend classes.
The Muslim community at this time was booming and my friendships there were and are quite strong. A group of girls in particular really, it seemed we were always together, giggling or passing notes, or talking during class. One has since gotten married and moved. Hers was a true Romeo and Juliet story with a lot of tragedy. Another girl, just left two summers ago and drove through the floods to move to California, where she got engaged within three weeks of reaching there! The others have entered college and university and are pursuing their respective lives.
I neglect to speak of the times we fought, struggled through math, went to the mall, cried when one got sicker and sicker and was diagnosed with cancer, when one got diabetes, laughed and hugged when one (then two) got engaged, all the birthday parties, all the jokes, our last good-byes, when one, then another left.
The friend who had cancer died two springs ago of ovarian cancer. We were all stunned. She died on a beautiful day in May. It seemed as if God had taken away everything she ever held dear to her one by one; her health, her ability to have children, her life. It took a long time to realize that if she had to go, she died in the most merciful way possible. She had a year among her friends, and died at home with her family and in her husband's arms. That summer we finally went back to the old country, for the first time in ten years. I think it was that and my family there that truly healed me. I left with my room a picture of desolation, with my most precious things wrapped and stored in cardboard boxes to be shipped in case we were not to return. Thus this trip when I was eighteen turned the pages of my life to another chapter.
I returned, ever so thankful of everything I had. I transferred schools and changed my major. Within a year I had two new jobs, one working in the university, which I loved, and the other teaching which I loved even more. Teaching opened up a whole new world to me. To be able to reach the next generation with your ideas, to help prepare them, to share your experiences and knowledge. It is the best feeling in the world (also the most frustrating)! Having to teach made me learn even more. I would teach the basics of Islam, like the five pillars. Having to do so I also needed to learn them inside out, so i started reading books, and more books. I read the best of Islamic thinkers and their writing, biographies of the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him and his contemporaries, the Hadith (the sayings and doings of the prophet) and the Quran (holy book of Islam).
The more I read about Islam, the more I realize that my knowledge of it is simply like a drop in the ocean. I have always believed in Islam, but the level I had been in was just in a state of cultural Islam. Reading the Quran from first divine word to last, the Hadith, the biographies, brought me closer to God and to the message of Islam. I began to truly understand the verse in the Quran that says that Muhammad was sent not "but as a mercy to all the worlds" (Quran 21:107) because the message he brought from God truly brought peace.
The more I went to mosque and was with other Muslims, the more love and belief I had about Islam. I have no doubt in the truth of Islam. I believe that Islam is all that which is good. It is completely rational and what is best for all of mankind. My life today focuses upon Islamic work. I have great sympathy for young Muslims who are confused and lost, as I had been. I wish to bring correct knowledge of true Islam to as many people as I can. In Islam our goal is not to 'convert' people, our job is only to inform them of the true way called Islam. I believe that the more true knowledge people have about Islam, the more Muslims there would be because of the universal beauty of its way of life.
Of course the age we live in is marked by ignorance of true Islam. People use its name to further their own political agendas. Misconceptions and misinformation are omnipresent in everything from textbooks to the media. Western xenophobes declare Islam to be the next threat to clash with "civilization." (See The Economist, Summer 1990) This past summer I participated in a program at a national Islamic organization headquatered. The experience was amazing. I lived in an apartment with some other Muslim sisters, and we worked, attended classes of noted scholars, and traveled everywhere.
Wherever we went, we met such dedicated Islamic workers who were working for the same cause. All were so humble and had such belief in God and peace, and in doing good works. This Fall when I came back, I felt I was finally strong enough to start wearing Hijab (the correct Islamic covering for women). I wanted people to recognize that I was Muslim and that I believed in Islam, and that it was not a 'foreign' religion and nor were Muslim women oppressed and uneducated.
The difference in the way I looked surely surprised many of my friends and co-workers, but all have seemed to accept it and treat me with respect. My relationships with others of different faiths are usually warm. I find it interesting to learn about other people's beliefs even if I do not agree with them. I am a great believer in inter-faith activities and relations. Only through knowledge and relating with each other as humans can we overcome ignorance and hatred. To many, Islam is a 'scary' religion they do not understand. They think Islam is about conquering, killing, and blindness, when it is actually the antithesis.
Through me I hope that the next time someone who has read my writing or heard me speak, turns on the TV and sees a "Muslim fundamentalist" (in the media this means terrorist), they will think twice and know what Islam really says about it. Through me I hope that some of my co-workers who never gave a second thought to the questions of life, materialism, superficiality and morality and their meanings, will find themselves one day thinking about my conversations with them.
God willing, I hope in the future only to be like the descriptions of the believers in the Quran: "And the servants of the Most Beneficent (Allah) are those who walk upon the earth modestly, and when the ignorant address them, they say, "peace". " (Quran | |
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